Autism Acceptance Day—But This Is Our Everyday

 

Estimated Reading Time: 7-8 minutes 

Welcome back, beautiful soul

A mother’s journey through pregnancy, early intervention, and raising a beautifully autistic teen.

Before autism ever entered our vocabulary, before therapy schedules, evaluations, and long conversations about development, my journey with my son began with survival.

My entire eight-month pregnancy was difficult. I was diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG)—a severe and debilitating condition that affects fewer than 3% of pregnancies. Unlike typical morning sickness, HG causes extreme nausea and vomiting, dehydration, significant weight loss, and an inability to function normally. It often begins around six weeks, peaks around twelve weeks, and typically resolves by 16–20 weeks.

Unfortunately, I was part of the small percentage for whom it did not resolve. 

My HG was so severe that there were moments when I could have lost my unborn child. I was bedridden, dehydrated, and unable to keep food down. I took several medications just to survive each day. I checked my ketones regularly and administered medication daily so my body could absorb what it needed.

I was also deeply depressed.

There were moments when I didn’t want to be pregnant anymore—not because I didn’t care, but because my body was failing me. I even asked doctors if they could perform a C-section early, just to end the suffering. They offered antidepressants, but I never took them. I simply wanted the sickness to stop.

My pre-pregnancy weight gain was minimal—only eight pounds total. My son was born on June 27, 2011, weighing six pounds, though he looked closer to five. He was small, wrinkled, and fragile.

And still—he was here.

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Autism Acceptance Is Not a Day or a Month in Our Home

April is recognized as National Autism Acceptance and Awareness Month, a time to increase understanding, foster inclusion, and celebrate the strengths of individuals on the autism spectrum. With 1 in 36 children identified with Autism Spectrum Disorder, autism is not rare—it is part of our everyday world.

Today, I say this openly and without hesitation:
Yes, my son was born on the spectrum.

My son, Demarco, has Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD Level 1) and Sensory Processing Disorder. He has average to above-average intelligence paired with ongoing challenges in social communication, sensory regulation, emotional processing, and rigidity around routines.

Some of those challenges include sensory sensitivities to loud noises, bright lights, and certain textures; anxiety around transitions and unexpected changes; literal thinking that makes sarcasm and metaphors difficult; and emotional regulation struggles that can lead to meltdowns or shutdowns when overstimulated.

And at 14 years old, these challenges still exist. His sarcasm is highly real he can go on and on LOL...

Many teens on the spectrum learn to mask their traits in order to fit in. While this may help them appear neurotypical, it often comes at the cost of exhaustion, anxiety, and emotional distress. My son is one of those teens. Last year, he found the courage and confidence to share with his two best friends that he has ASD—a moment that made me incredibly proud.

While today is Autism Acceptance Day and April is Autism Acceptance Month, our family celebrates autism every single day—not just once a year.

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Early Intervention and the Long Road Forward

Demarco was originally diagnosed under what was once referred to as Asperger’s, a term now included under Autism Spectrum Disorder. While terminology has changed, the journey has remained very real.

At two years old, we began early intervention: sensory integration therapy, ABA therapy, speech therapy, and cognitive therapy.

Those early years were not easy at all. I could never catch a breath with him. There were days filled with biting, kicking, screaming, not eating, not talking, and limited eye contact. Progress came slowly, unevenly, and with great effort.

We were supported by many dedicated professionals and organizations along the way, including Knights of Columbus Developmental Center, Sensory Solutions, Easterseals Midwest, The Arc of St. Louis, and Autism Speaks.

To any parent raising a child with ASD: you are not alone. Early intervention is one of the most meaningful supports you can offer your child.

Was I exhausted? Yes.
Did I have family support beyond my daughter and professionals? No—and that’s okay.

Did people tell me "oh he doesn't have it or he'll be ok? Yes.

Were there long nights filled with tears? Yes.
Did I seek therapy for myself? Yes.

And still—I never gave up on my son.

I attended parent trainings through Easterseals Midwest like it was a full-time job. I advocated fiercely, learned constantly, and refused to let anyone tell me what my son would never be capable of.

Who He Is Today

Today, my son is a thoughtful and intelligent 14-year-old who continues to experience the world through Autism Spectrum Disorder and Sensory Processing Disorder. Much of his life is grounded in predictability—routines, structure, and familiarity help him feel safe. And there are also days when things feel unpredictable, when sensory overload or emotional stress shows up in unexpected ways.

Even so, he continues to grow in self-awareness, communication, and resilience. His journey has never been about changing who he is, but about learning how to support him as he becomes more himself.

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“He Doesn’t Look Autistic”

When people find out my son is autistic, they often say,
“He doesn’t look autistic.”
“He doesn’t seem autistic.”

Autism is not a look.
It is a neurological difference—not a physical one.

Autistic individuals of all ages, genders, and backgrounds may appear neurotypical. Many learn to mask their traits to survive in environments not designed for them.

So when someone says that, I simply say thank you ☺️—because it means my son is navigating a world that often misunderstands him with strength. And, I worked really hard to give him the support needed to navigate it. 

Demarco, This Is for You

I love your curiosity.
Your repetitive tweets.
Your high and low energy.
The way you process information.
Your intelligence and comprehension—they are beautiful.
Your smile.
Your laughter.

You are, and will always remain, beautifully you.💙

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Is My HG Connected to My Son’s Autism?

Some parents wonder whether severe pregnancy complications like Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG) could be connected to a child later being diagnosed with autism. A few studies have explored this and found a possible association, but there is no evidence that HG causes autism. Autism is complex and influenced by many factors, including genetics and early brain development. HG is a serious medical condition—not a failure, not a choice, and not something a parent causes.

No parent is to blame for their child’s neurodivergence. 💙

Autism Support Organizations (St. Louis & Beyond)

If you are a parent or caregiver seeking support, these organizations played a meaningful role in our journey and may help guide yours:

• Easterseals Midwest
• The Arc of St. Louis
• St. Louis Crisis Nursery
• Jewish Family Services of St. Louis
• Lutheran Family Services

To every parent walking this path: your child’s story is still unfolding—and so is yours. 💙

A Note for Mothers Who Need to Hear This

If you carried a child through illness, fear, depression, or survival mode—please hear me clearly: you did not fail. You did the best you could with the body, information, and support you had at the time. You do not need to rewrite your pregnancy story with guilt. You do not need to search for a reason to blame yourself. Your child’s neurodivergence is not a reflection of your worth as a mother. Love, advocacy, and showing up again and again—that is what defines you.

You are allowed to hold both truth and tenderness.
You are allowed to rest from self-blame.
You are allowed to be proud of how far you’ve both come.

Additional Autism Support Organizations

Here’s a list you can add to your blog so families have even more options for support, advocacy, and community:

Local & Regional (St. Louis / Missouri)

• Autism Society of Missouri – Support, education, and referrals across Missouri.
• St. Louis Regional Autism Assistance Program – Offers workshops, resources, and community education.
• Gateway Center for Autism – Services for children, teens, and adults on the spectrum.
• Special School District of St. Louis County – Supports IEPs, evaluations, and resources through public schools.
• Missouri Family to Family – Peer support and resource navigation for families of children with disabilities.

National & Online Resources

• Autism Society – Advocacy, information, and local chapters nationwide.
• Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) – Led by autistic adults; offers resources, advocacy, and affirmation.
• Organization for Autism Research (OAR) – Evidence-based resources for families and adults.
• The Child Mind Institute – Evaluation guides, parenting supports, and therapist locators.
• Center for Autism and Related Disorders (CARD) – Applied behavior analysis (ABA) and therapy resources.

Support for Families of Color

• National Black Autism Alliance – Builds community, culturally responsive education, and family support.
• Autism in Black – Culturally specific empowerment and awareness for Black families.
• Latino Autism Support Network – Bilingual resources and community connection.
• Black Parent Initiative – Advocacy and culturally aligned parenting resources (not autism-specific but widely used by families).

Written by yours truly:  https://www.ninepbs.org/blogs/kids/challenges-parents-face-when-raising-a-child-with-autism/

💙 Autism acceptance isn’t a day, a month, or a hashtag. It’s a practice, a mindset, and a way of loving those on the spectrum fully and unconditionally.

Stay tuned for my next blog, where I'll share the early signs I noticed, the challenges of getting a diagnosis, and the unique barriers Black and Brown families  often face in the healthcare system. I really hope our story helps others feel seen, supported and empowered. 

With care and intention,
Fatama MD | Mindful Ease Studio